This is rather mine personal diary rather than a blog where i pen down my thoughts. It reflects my darker side and a different approach towards life. As such i have no objection in anyone reading it, but then you are gonna be bored as it is all about i, me, myself. You also might end up with a different opinion about me. So I suggest, move on. Do something constructive!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Retrospection.....

Aah... its been four years since I last wrote.... just one article in this blog though...have deleted the rest. I probably feel like writing when am a bit lonely, a bit upset with life. Its not that such a situation have not arrived in the past four years, but then never felt for the shattered dreams. And believe me an idle or lonely mind is where Satan loves to dwell. Always knew he was there with me, but never felt his presence so strong.

I consider myself to be a realistic, neither pessimist nor optimist. Neither am I a happy-go-lucky person, for neither luck nor happiness stays with me. But introspecting, i conclude that i could be a much better self than i am. Of late, i realize that i am not the best of persons people like themselves to be associated with, not the type people love hanging out with. Its not that i am ignored but then its that feeling that creeps when u fail to enter that inner core of trust. Trust. Thats a nice word. I wonder whether i understand its complete meaning. But it is this expectation that leaves us at times disappointed and gives us a sense of failure. And actually when one removes this requirement from any bonding, any relationship, one is at peace and in much better stances with thy neighbour...be it siblings, relatives, friends or anybody. Some may argue though that the very stepping stone of any relation is trust. And thats where we humans falter... expectations from thy neighbour. It leads to the ruining of one's self consious. Sometime back I was told... everyone in life will sometime or the other give you pain. It is for you to decide what to chose, the pain or the person. I didn't answer her then... but the answer will always be pain!!

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