Retrospecting, i realize she might have been right. To get a fare idea of her point of view, i checked the meaning of the word 'friend' in the dictionary. It says "a person one knows well and regards with trust and affection and one who willingly takes unparallel measures for you." Now this made me think. We are a bunch of 27 in the class. I might be knowing another 100 from JU. So of these 125 odd people, how many friends do i have. Nice question!!
Lets start off with a hypothetical case. I get a job, receive 25 congratulatory messages and wishes, decide to throw a party, 15 of us go together and enjoy ourselves...after all what are friends for!! So i have 25 friends ie all 25 out of 25. Everyone's happy for me, sharing my happiness. Great. Lets change the situation a bit. Lets say i have a class test on a given date and on the eve i drink heavily and the hangover being there, i get up late the next day. Lets just assume that i am in sheoraphuli when i wake up and the test is just at a half hour distance. Knowing i cant make it, i call up some of my friends and ask them to bunk the test just for my sake because i being left alone, the prof would never take a separate test for me but if the group is a large one, he just might. Now...how many friends do i have? Ok lets be fare to my 'mates'. The scenario remains the same, but instead of me its anyone from that lot of 26 who is facing the situation and i receive a call half an hour before a test to bunk it for his sake. What would i do? Firstly i would call my other 'mates' and ascertain what they are doing. Only when i find there are atleast a couple others to walk the same path, i would agree. But i will not be the lone person to go ahead and bunk the test just for my friend. So back to ground zero... how many friends do i have?
The question that comes immediately is why did i end up in such a scenario?! Back in my school days, we would do anything for quite a handful of the lot and they would also do the same for me. I remember during pre board examination, one of us got up late and not knowing what was wrong with him (no mobiles then) we stood near our school gate in freezing cold even after the scheduled time of the examination, knowing that he alone being late would be barred from the test but having a group of 6, the principal wont dare to do such thing. Then where did i go wrong in the last 3 years or so? Well the general trend is the more you spend time with people, the more stronger bond you develop and more friends you make. The bitter irony in this case is just the reverse happens. 21 days of staying together has made me more sceptical, cautious rather than easy going and treating all as one.
The reason i believe is in the mindset. It took me time to realize and adjust, but then i did learn it the hard way. People here havn't come to make friends, they have come to just stay for four years, gain the maximum and move on. And in the process it doesn't matter whether for self gain, there is someone who gets hurt or feels bad. Who cares anyway!! But back then, we never saw it as a 13 year investment in which one looks for maximum profit, instead we looked at it as a life long mutual fund where in if one goes down drastically, in some way or the other the second and the third also falls. Its this "i give a shit" atti about others that has made 27 'mates' among us. There are people in the class who cant tolerate each other, people with whom others dont wanna talk!! People for whom only "four people" of the entire 26 matters... gives a damn to the rest!! Somethings for a tiny lot of 27!!!
But then i believe its my personal problem, or rather a problem of a few. So i myself must be the guilty person. Though i failed to realize where i went wrong. One "friend" though points out that its not possible to make friends with everyone, but a situation of having tried and failed should not arise. Not that i have regrets, but then the world could have been a better place to live in, only if i had known the secret.
No comments:
Post a Comment