The 'summer of 06' turned out to be arguably the most dramatic summer of my life. Decisions made, remade and finally this one by which I and only I stand alone. I still dont know what future has in store for me but then am following my instincts and hoping for the best. Among all the brouhaha that took place this summer, the defining moment was just two days...two days in Asansol.
My entrance performance being dismal, the best option available was IT in Asansol Engineering College in Asansol. I wasn't happy but then having no other alternative, decided for it. So there I was, 29th July, along with my parents, there in Asansol.
30th July, 2006: Right in the morning went to college, took the uniform (yes...AEC had uniform!!!), met my roomie, Biswaroop Saha (had made acquaintance with him during counselling), went to hostel, selected room and decided to shift in the evening. Then went along with Dad and opened a bank account, acquainted with few of his colleagues there and came back to the hotel, having just three hours before shifting to the hostel.
Movies are in general a good source of entertainment but then at times they influence you to take some life changing decisions. Those three hours were spent in watching Iqbal, the debut film of Shreyas Talpade. It wasn't the first time I saw it though, a nice movie of self determination and scaling great heights against all odds. Then finally left for hostel, chatted with the new friends, had dinner in the hostel mess, then went to bed for the night. My first night, as I thought at that time, and my last, as it turned out to be.
Probably its gonna be a usual affair to stay awake the whole night once I go to college, but that was the first night that set things in motion. I just couldn't sleep. It rained twice, went to the bathroom four times... Biswaroop initially gave me company but soon he dozed off too. So there I was, lying all by myself, retrospecting... introspecting.
Began with what would happen the next day, how to cope with ragging, how to avoid seniors initially, that it was pathetic that would be uniform bound for the next four years too and such frivolous stuffs. Then wandered away to what a small town Asansol was and how miserable life would be in this town for the next four years. Ultimately it came down to what I have done in life even after studying in one of the best schools of the country. By the early hours of morning, I had decided that I am not going to be a mere engineer from Asansol..that I will, under all odds, drop a year. I realized then itself it was my decision, I would be alone in this decision and would get no support, that failing to improve significantly next year would have to take the flak all myself. But then I needed that one chance, one opportunity to test myself, to answer myself. As the saying goes it is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.
There are some decisions in life that are simply made on one's intuitions, that no logic or reasoning can justify. Decisions that ten years down the line might seem right or wrong. But I believe what matters is whether one can live up to one's choices made, that he remains loyal to his decision, that he can answer himself rather than anybody else. Ans such spontaneous decisions are always taken in an impulse, and once taken one can go to any extent in realizing it, go against friends, relatives, society and even one's parents. At this juncture I dont know whats in store, maybe next year would be packing the bags again for Asansol... but then have no regrets. For the rest of my life, I will be able to say to myself, that I, being a Loyolean, made my own destiny!!
